Posts Tagged ‘ Funny ’

30 Day Challenge: Day 13

It’s finally the 1st of November and due to severe mishaps and roadblocks (Internet failure, moving, and inevitable procrastination) the 30 Day Challenge has been reduced to a set pattern of ideas to use to keep the heartbeat of my blog at a steady pace. Regardless I’m writing, which right now kinda surprises even me since my novel is in production.
Now I bring Day 13: My Opinion About my Body and How Comfortable I am With It.

The subject has been met with mixed reactions within myself. For now lets just say…

I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT.

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30 Day Challenge: Day 8

For Day Eight of the challenge, I am to write down What I Ate Today.

Well, I’ll start off by saying that no one reads a good post at ten in the evening (Yes, I’m giving that weird stare at you good citizen) so I decided it would be best to write what I devoured yesterday.

I began the day right with my usual combination of eggs and bacon, casually mixed within an omelette like shape (or what I tried to shape as an omelette) and a glass of milk. I call it a power combo, only because they say it’s good for my daily workout.
Mid Day arrives and I break the dieting rule by purchasing a 44oz. soda from a convenience store. (*hides head in shame*) Nothing was stuffed into my pie-hole until later in the night when I was kindly invited by my best friend for dinner at his place, serving spaghetti and a little…”extra”.

30 Day Challenge: Day 7

Day seven has come around and now I get to list Five Pet Peeves.

There are many things that absolutely boil my blood. Things I wish I could eradicate from the face of this planet (or wipe from human minds). As much as I may hate them, the only thing I can do is complain about them.

  1. Eating with Your Mouth Open/Making Noise while Eating– If you want to send shivers down my spine, please don’t hesitate in performing these two actions. Manners people, manners.
  2. Not Meaning What You Say– If you say anything, make sure you mean it with everything you have inside you. If you didn’t the first time, you probably shouldn’t have said it at all.
  3. Stupidity– Need I say more? Grow a brain or dig a hole; the choice is yours.
  4. Cutting Your Tongue on Jolly Ranchers– It hurts.
  5. Waking Up With Messy Hair– Come on, I have an image to maintain and I can’t do that if it looks as if gerbils have moved in the follicle jungle overnight.

30 Day Challenge: Day 4

For Day Four, the next on the challenge list is to Bullet My Whole Day.

  • I wake up at 11:05, picking up my cell phone to check the time in a zombie-like fashion.
  • I manage to stumble to the bathroom to commence with shower.
  • *censored*
  • I find a suitable outfit to slip into that doesn’t conflict with work policies.
  • I gather my belongings for the bike ride to the occupational facility.
  • I ride my bike to said occupational facility.
  • I walk in and almost instantly, a sense of dread and depression fills my body.
  • My shift begins and I sit at my designated workstation which doubles as a prison cell.
  • I get my first call after pulling up the necessary systems to do my job “properly”.
  • My blood pressure rises as the customer yells with enough volume to rupture both eardrums.
  • (Repeat above for two hours.)
  • Break time arrives in which I walk several feet to another room simply to sit back down.
  • It’s over and the yelling continues for two more hours.
  • Lunch with Friends.
  • Back to the phone for four more hours till end of jail sentence.
  • I hop back on my dual-wheeled transportation device and peddle my way back home while listening to relaxing Skrillex.
  • I arrive and crash onto my bed. Then I turn on my Xbox to kill Covenant forces in therapeutic relaxation.

That’s my day. My week on repeat.

Time for Virtual Party Hats V5; One Lovely Blog Nomination!

Here we are once again to celebrate the greatest moments of my blog’s history; looking back at all the tears, blood, sweet, and Bengay used to craft such a blog of incredulousness. This time the party welcomes the news of its second award from another blog, My Two Caps. The blog carries a lot of great posts pertaining to the vast realm of virtual reality and the geekhood we so proudly engage in.
I sincerely thank you for such an honor and since the nomination was granted due to the earlier posts I made about gaming, Better With A Pen shall continue on with the game related news, reviews, and sneak peeks. The news shall also continue on the brother site Gaming The Systems, so don’t fret my dears.

One Lovely Blog Award

In part of accepting such award there are some rules that follow:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
  • Share 7 things about yourself. (Keep in mind that children may read this)
  • Nominate 15 bloggers you absolutely relish.
  • Leave a comment on each of these blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

So now that the rules are acknowledged, I must acknowledge them myself. 7 little known facts:

  1. I have written an entire novel in my youth, deciding that it would serve a greater purpose as kindling than a readable piece of material.
  2. I’m very outspoken and I don’t let anything stop me from speaking my mind, which gives others the impression that I am an insensitive pompous jerk.
  3. I like to reenact Brian Regan’s standup routines, having the uncanny ability to replicate his voice. (As much as someone doesn’t like it…)
  4. I have never been able to successfully write a poem, as each 15-word heartfelt letter becomes a 15-page heartfelt letter.
  5. I dress like a hipster, but remain classy and suave.
  6. I’m crazily, insanely in love with someone right now, so I thought I should tell the world.
  7. I still enjoy drawing my StickMan Adventures comic series I began in my year at Puerto Rico. It now happens to be on it’s 10th season.

Now here are the 15 blogs that I would like to nominate for this meritorious award:

So, go on to check these great blogs out. Maybe even read a bit. It’s healthy.
Let the party commence!

funny gifs

When You Don’t Know What To Write…This Is What It Looks Like

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Indeed

Things You Should Never Do In A Foreign Country (Or Oregon)

Preparing for an out-of-state trip has my insides fluttering in excitement…and fear. A large percentage of the fear originates from the doubt of my survival in unknown territory (I’ve seen Taken folks.), but I happen to be wearing my big boy pants.  Before I begin my conceded self-proclamation of awesomeness, I’ve decided that I should prepare myself for the experience that lies ahead, including what I say, wear, and act around an alien culture.
So for those who are ready to travel around the world, I implore you to study this handy guide that will not only help preserve your mortality, but make the trip the most memorable to remember.

  1. The first and last experience of your trip will be the airport engagement. Baggage check and ticket verification will be the more important events that will take place, among those will also be the threat detection and prevention. We have all been through this, a person clad in authoritative uniform waves a magic stick around your body and you have no choice to follow through and remove each and every metal object. (Keep in mind, some airports revert to extreme measures and may require you to remove zippers, buttons, and pins which may not come off of said clothing. You get the rest.)
    Another thing is the baggage check where you have the chance to leave behind certain items one could have a hard time living without. (Hairdryer, straightening iron, hair spray …don’t shake your head…) Officers may come across as hostile upon discovering these items at first, but don’t fret; don’t speak of any bomb or say “It’s not like im a genocidal terrorist here!”, that may just ruin your vacation before you can even set foot on the plane.
  2. Next in the schedule is the plane ride. After watching multiple movies spectating in-air disasters, it might become uncomfortable after a short while, regardless of the previous times you’ve sat in a jumbo jet because somewhere in the depths of your brain, a voice will be chanting “You’re going to die, you’re going to die…“. The moment is crucial for the duration of the ride that you retain composure and not panic, even if a gentleman with a full beard wearing a turban across the row is looking at the cabin more attentively than usual. Do not jump to conclusions and yell the “T”-word when in reality he was only waiting to expel the contents of his bladder.
  3. Third in line is the hotel/motel/straw hut check-in. In foreign countries where English is as unspoken as Patwin, it may be harder to get directions to the temporary place of residency that seemed to disappear off the face of your map. To encounter a local and attempt to ask where you are forces you to mimic their language, in which you may be seen as a complete idiot or retard (or whatever insult best describes the situation). For prevention always take time to learn the basics of the language where you will be traveling in, even if it means investing in Rosetta Stone…or the strange neighbor you’ve neglected to interact with.
    Also, be extremely cautious when telling others where you’re going, they could very well be pirates or disgruntled employees who are desperate for your out-of-country riches.
  4. Sightseeing can be fun. Sightseeing can be dangerous. Who would want to face the latter? Not me, therefore when trekking to see the rare sites make sure they are legally accessible. Spending the night at a Écouter is not the most scrapbook worthy moment, so don’t try to break into sites with chains, barbwire, electrically charged fences, trap doors, scorpions, or men in fuzzy black hats that are preventing further entry. Also don’t forget that some sites can also be owned privately. Theres nothing more embarrassing than being caught taking a photo of an ancient shrine that is actually someone’s front lawn ornament.
  5. Last, but certainly not least is the food. For the love of Heimdall and the rainbow bridge, DO NOT REJECT FOOD EXTERNALLY OR INTERNALLY IN A DISTASTEFUL MANNER. In multiple cultures the kitchen can be a sanctum and the meals prepared there are close to divine. Always remember that if you do not like something, display a cheerful smile, carefully turn to hide from direct eye contact, and dispel the substance from the mouth without a groan, choke, or gag then continue to thank the cook and bestow blessings upon their children.

These might just have changed not only your travels, but changed the history of tourism itself. Keep these in a handy little note tucked firmly between the fold of a wallet, or even tattooed on your arm for easy access; regardless of how you remember them, always take the fate of your trip with a grain of salt. Things will happen unexpectedly even with extreme preparation and planning.
Who knows, you might just see yourself in one of those airplane disaster movies…