Posts Tagged ‘ Zombies ’

Zombies? Or Undisputed Idiocy?

We all know the events that happened last Saturday; a man who has served faithfully in his church with a family suddenly turned rampant on the streets of Miami and snacked on one of his fellow kin’s flesh.
When taken into retrospect it sounds like something that flew straight from Resident Evil: Degeneration or even The Walking dead, but we all know of its fictional nature.

But lately we have found truth stranger than fiction.


They might not look like this, but they’ll still be terrible at making friends.

The signs of a possible “Zombie Apocalypse” dawns nearer, but authorities proclaim the Bath Salts sold legally online are the cause of the situations…the situations that have been publicly released in a week. When it comes to probability, a number of people taking bath salts and then becoming cannibals at around the same time it seems ludicrous, but don’t start thinking that I am preparing for the worst by purchasing ammo and ballistic machinery by the bulk.
By nature I am a skeptic, one who doesn’t stick to one side untill the right info has come to surface before taking action. These stories are all the hype more so because of our modern infatuation with Zombies. (I am guilty, I like Zombies and if I didn’t, my MTG deck would be composed of werewolves and vampires {Which would be most unfavorable}.) People are now choosing friends based on the tactics that would serve better in a flesh-eating catastrophe and many of them want it to happen.

I am not one of those people, which is why I disagree with any kind of forthcoming apocalypse; I would much rather stay home, awaiting the release of Halo 4 by practicing my skills with a DMR instead of worrying about people and the possibility that they may have an appetite for my grey matter. …and then we go to the evidence.

  • Hazmat crews were called into Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport to investigate the source of an “unknown chemical”, sending a number of people to the hospital.
  • 41-year-old Dr. Zachary Bird, was arrested by the Florida Highway Patrol near Orlando, charged with battery charges for spitting blood in a officer’s face. They say he was “extremely agitated and enraged” then proceeded to repeatedly bang his head on the patrol car until he bled.
  • A strange rash was reported at a school around the same district as Fort Lauderdale. A Hazmat team was once again called in to investigate, and left without any explanation of the rashes origin.
  • A disoriented Canadian man was arrested aboard an American Airlines plane after he attempted to rush the cockpit. The plane had just landed in Miami shortly before.
  • In Hackensack, New Jersey, a man was rushed to the hospital after he cut out his own intestines and threw them at police officers.

Whatever is happening in Florida and the surrounding area seems to be spreading, not fast, but fast enough for the University of Illinois to tweet the following warning to its students one night: “Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter.”
I don’t know about you but this info seems concrete enough to at least explain some of the incidents, however the possibility of a humanity-threating event is too farfetched for what “experts” say could happen–very reassuring for someone who read World War Z. It could very well be a relation to drugs such as LSD and an overdose in cocane…or the bath salts; people simply being stupid enough to take them.

So what do you think?

I’m sure that this will come to pass and the strange events will become part of a history that will certainly be printed in every Biological Studies workbook.  Let’s cross our fingers and knock on some wood. Mahogany for added measure.

Unhinged Polygons: Zombie Repellant

“Don’t get into the Warthog Jimmy.” I told my friend, warning him of the possible snipers in the area. The battlefield was quiet and a lone Rocket-hog sat in the middle of it. It was suspicious, usually it was fought for and Jimmy was known for getting into it first.
“Don’t worry Tony, I’ll just get it really quick and drive off before anyone can hit me.” He then casually strutted out of the cave and toward the Warthog, jumped in, and was instantly plucked out of gameplay from a head-shot.

This is one of the many scenarios I face during the frequent Halo Parties I attend. I was obliged to be invited to another in the same week from a different group of friends, two in one week. I was beginning to think that life couldn’t get any better than this. Mountains of Pizza boxes and Dr. Pepper cans became the latest pieces of furniture and the headsets were starting to bend our ears in a shape any Trekkie would be proud of.

The First one was composed of the friends with whom I work with; Jimmy, Ken (Kenny), and Mark. The invitation was obvious after an argument erupted after I said that I could get the Killimanjaro medal, Mark was skeptical and challenged me to a Slayer match. I came as soon as I could to his place, arriving when he least expected it. The first match was an Infection and I was one of the defending players. Since it was on ONI Sword base a good spot could be found in various places and prepared myself by procuring a shotgun before the herd of zombies came running towards me. It took seconds for the rampage to begin.

One zombie.
Two zombie. Double Kill.
Three zombie. Triple Kill.
Four and Five zombie. Zombie Killing Spree.

Mark was now getting concerned.

Six zombie. Killtrocity.
Seven. Killimonjaro.

Mark’s face was then breaking into a sweat.

Eat my medals Mark!

Eight. Killtastrophe.
Nine. Killpocalypse.
Ten. Hell’s Janitor.

Mark threw his fist into his lap in defeat.
A few seconds later a voice shouted “Hell’s Jerome!” and the entire room around me went silent. It was only when the match ended that I could see everyone’s face in utter amazement and shock. Mark shook his head then my hand, and said “Good one Marn, didn’t think you could do it.” but what he was really saying was “I will now eat my shoe.”.
It was out of luck, but I knew I could do it. For the rest of the night I was treated like Major Nelson…well, almost I suppose.

Next time you want to challenge me remember this, Don’t Mess with The Marnray.