“Sometimes paranoia’s just having all the facts.”
-William S. Burroughs
Paranoia: a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. (e.g. “Everyone is out to get me.“) Making false accusations and the general distrust of others also frequently accompany paranoia.
If the entire world were to congregate in two places; one for those who make decisions based on Paranoia and the other for those who “claim” to be “normal”, the world would tilt a few degrees to one side. Everyone has some degree of paranoia and those who say that they don’t…well…I’ll tickle your fancy and congratulate you on your incredible achievement.
For the rest of us we will prolong our membership to Paranoids Anonymous and search for the paradise known for indispensable peace from people and their harrowing judgements. As a writer (if I have the permission to call myself that from you professional types) paranoia is a daily intake as much as carbs and sugar; just as unhealthy, just as fattening. I can’t help it, every word I inscribe onto a sheet of paper leaves behind a reminiscent feeling that someone, somewhere is going to question why I would even burn the minutes of my life away in such inferior work. (I should refer back to a previous post, but perhaps I shouldn’t)
The inevitability of worry threatens me right as the cursor rests upon Submit, Publish, Send, or Reply and will always do so until I happen to silence my procrastination; the thoughts that fly through my mind consists mainly of “What if they hate it?” or “This will never get any likes.“, I feel as there are all-powerful WordPress admins who read everyone of my posts and deems it as “Readable” or “SHALL THE DEVIL BE SANCTIFIED” material. It would explain the lack of likes and comments that boost my ego which allow me to continue on. (How inflated I would be if this were Freshly Pressed…)
After searching through the W.W.W. or the Worldly Waters of Wackos, I stumbled across blog.davemsw.com and a picture he posted he called as the “Hierarchy of Paranoia”, a simple diagram showing the different levels of social fear.
I see myself around the first or second level of Paranoia, the average Joe who believes they are attentively watching your every move and snickering at how terrible your hair looks. A person to be at the fifth stage/level however is one who blames falling over in their chair on someone’s Fus Ro Dah.
Now I’m no expert, but for someone like that is worthy of a Code Brown everywhere they go, but I’m not one to judge…
…because somewhere in the world…someone…is judging me.