A Nerd and His Bike

“Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.”
-H.G. Wells

If there is one thing that every kid wants to learn is to ride a bike. I was that kid and many of my friends were as well, you were cool if you had a bike in the neighborhood I resided at for the majority of my childhood. The main reason was that us kids lived next to the hill we called “Devils Peak” and whoever could ride to the top of the hill and race back down without crashing or getting hit with a car was given a plastic attachment to put in the tire spokes, making any ordinary bike sound as fierce as a motorcycle (because that was cool too).
Now I’m 19 and I still enjoy using human-powered vehicular transportation. Many people that know me (and likely other people) wonder why I don’t have a car at my age; I don’t have a license, therefore I have no choice but to ride a bike to get to and from work. I don’t mind at all, even in 20 or 90 degree weather because the benefits exceed what some would call “burdensome”.

So I have devised a list of things that makes cycling a better alternative to driving cars. (And it has nothing to do with carbon emissions or any kind of Global Warming issue–I’ll leave that to Rush Limbaugh)

  • Better Health- Increased cardiovascular endurance, stamina, strength, and improved balance. In 30 years down the line you could be known as “Thunder Thighs”. (“Ya’, buns and thighs.”)
  • Relieves Stress- Regardless of the main reason you mounted yourself on two wheels you’ll get to where you need to go feeling relaxed and happily energized, giving you a dose 100% self-esteem.
  • Makes You Feel Like A Pokemon Trainer
  • Burns Calories- You could lose around 11 pounds a year if you cycled for 30-60 minutes everyday. It also increases your metabolic rate.
  • No Gas- (that reason could win any argument)
  • Less Maintenance- Far less than any Pinto or Smart Car.
  • FREE PARKING
  • Road Advantage- In a worldwide crisis (or the Zombie Apocalypse) traffic will slow to a halt and those stuck in their cars will have to walk the rest of the way, being subject to dangers and flesh eating creatures. Those on bikes will be able to maneuver their way around town, dodging critical impasses and traversing where no car has gone before.

My bike–or otherwise known as Betty.

Many people think and say that those who ride bikes are lame and wear funny hats, but I have come to conclude that they have never experienced the true joy of riding a bike (or aren’t aware of proper safety equipment). Just to say to those who do think so, just remember; I’ll be 85 years old and still moving like Jagger.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

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  1. July 2nd, 2012

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