May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away

Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not 3 weeks ago, and my internet isn’t working.”

Me: “Well the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly…”

Customer: “It is NOT working perfectly. I cannot get on the internet. ”

Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.”

Customer: “My computer is worthless without internet.”

(Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.)

Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?”

Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.”

Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?”

Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problems in your area.”

Customer: “I bought this computer from YOU and YOU should be the ones fixing it.”

Me: “It’s not the computer, it’s the internet. Unfortunately we’re not your internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.”

Customer: “How much do you charge for internet?”

Me: “We do not sell internet.”

Customer: “Than who do I buy my internet from?”

Me: “I don’t know. Verizon, perhaps?”

Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.”

Me: “…you haven’t even signed up for it yet!?”

Customer: “I wanted to do it on the internet.”

Me: 

Working as a Tech Support Agent has to be the best job I have ever been hired to do and as much as I love it there are some “occupational hazards” that come from trying to fix others problems. You see it all the time where I work (in which I am told not to disclose the exact location), people call in about a certain issue or error that has overcome their system or program, they want it fixed as soon as possible and start to blame you for their situation.
After two (or even more) hours of sifting through their computer you begin to realize the main error is the object in between the chair and the keyboard…
Human error is the main cause for many problems, in a particular instance a customer called about wanting to backup her client data. I walked her through the problem to find an unusual pause in the conversation, I asked what was going on and she said that the program was nowhere in sight. “She must have deleted or misplaced the desktop icon…” I thought, but when I remoted in the entire program was uninstalled. I asked her why it was removed from her drive and the response that came was unlike anything other I could ever imagine.
I had to delete the program to make room for the client data.”


Now don’t get me wrong–I understand that some–okay, A LOT of people are computer illiterate, but I cannot stress the fact enough that if you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t try to fix a problem by yourself especially when it concerns a program that is vital to your occupation. If computers are necessary for your job I suggest learning everything you can about them or at least as much as you can retain mentally.
Some problems on the other hand have nothing to do with computers, but simple common sense; stupidity has overtaken this world and it’s only a matter of time before the world must be eradicated. (to those who are offended by this post the feeling is mutual)

Me: “Hello, I hear you are having a problem with your printer.”

Customer: “Yes, I changed the cartridge and it says that it’s still out of ink.”

Me: “Ok, did you remove the blue tape before inserting the new print cartridge?”

Customer: “Yep! Sure did!”

(After literally two hours of model number and cartridge number verification and even installing new firmware on the printer among many other things…)

Me: “Ok ma’am, can you take the ink cartridge out for me?”

Customer: “Ok, it’s out.”

Me: “Is there blue tape over the copper on the bottom of the cartridge?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “Could you remove it and re-install the cartridge?”

Customer: “Oh hey! It works!”

(I’ve never wished more that I could slap people via telephony.)

This is why Aliens haven’t dared come near us.

Thanks for http://notalwaysright.com/tag/tech-support for the stories of complete idiocy.

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    • Brad Phillips
    • March 6th, 2012

    Computer illiteracy is a big issue that I believe the school system in America has ignored for too long. Computers are going to be even more important in the future and kids need to be learning about them earlier. However, I do not believe the “world needs to be eradicated” because of this.

    I just believe that high-tech knowledge is not for everyone and I’m a computer engineering major.. Maybe it’s just because I’m fascinated by technology, new and old..

    • The statement I made about eradication was merely comic relief, almost a mockery of all those movies and overused plots found in novels about an extraterrestrial species wanting to wipe us off the face of this earth, either to prevent our outer-worldly colonization or for our resources.
      Besides the point I agree how many schools seem to forget that technology is evolving at such a rate we as humans are now becoming cyborgs (in a way) and the knowledge of simple computer mechanics and navigation will be required to operate in the future Earth.

        • Brad Phillips
        • March 6th, 2012

        “becoming cyborgs (in a way) and the knowledge of simple computer mechanics and navigation will be required to operate in the future Earth.”

        Best line I have ever read, but it is true. Technology is rapidly evolving and if you don’t teach them now, there will be no hope of teaching them once technology is too far advanced.

      • Thanks. I couldn’t agree more with that statement, it doesn’t take very much energy to break out the ol’ “Windows for Dummies”.

  1. July 2nd, 2012

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